Pain and more pain

When this last storm came up the coast, I have been having very bad pain. I can tell the weather with my back and leggs. Robbie use to laugh at me and told me that I was crazy, I could predict rain and bad weather long before he started all of his pain. When I retired on a very bad back, Rob was still working, we called each other and got together once a month to drink and play music. He would call and see what the weather was gonna do? I would tell him and I was correct 99% of the time. When Rob got canned at work, we started having more time with each other.  Rob started his downfall and he came down with pain shortly after. His uclers were bad, his liver was shot. Been in two dry out clinics, went to several doators and told me that he was understanding my pain. He would always call and tell me, Cat, how in the hell do you cope with that much pain? I told him that I went to pain dotors and lived on pain pills. He hurts so bad, that I cry sometimes. I will try and make it to Helen, I want to go and see my friends and meet new ones. But, if I can't go, think about me back home in pain. Robbie started downhill pretty damn fast. I was staying about the same. He told me that some nights he cried like a baby and also told me that he was going to die at a very young age. I always talked better about pain when talking to Rob, he was a strong little asshole, but his pain was getting as bad as mine. For the last three months of his life, he talked about going soon. I told him that he was not going till his time was up. We laughed and got on a new subject. I have not had any sleep in two nights, I walked the floors, looked outside every ten mintues, took pills, put on new patches, still no sleep. I am not thinking about death, but with all of this pain, I think if I had to live like this the reat of my life, then I would rather be dead. The is sad but true, pain does wonders on the mind, if fucks you up. I hope I will get better, and soon. I have been in my hot tub a lot lately, been living in my massage chair, the one Rob loved and talked about all the time. He would sometimes go to sleep in my cahair and he was going to purchase one soon. One time he went to sleep in the chair and I had 12 friends over, Dana put a carrot between his leggs and everyone laughed at the drunk fucker. When he woke up, see saw the carrot then took a big bite out of it. We all laughed and called him gay. He laughed back and called all of us faggots. If I can make it to Helen, I will be there, if not, sorry people. I am dealing with some bad ass pain now. I hope ya'll have a great holiday weekend, be safe and return to all of us on Tuesday, Cat